MENtal Health Monday - Suicide Prevention Week In Memory Of My Uncle Rick.mp3

Monday, September 10th

September 10 kicks off suicide prevention week, leading into suicide prevention month for September.  This week, I tell you the story of my Uncle Rick, how he impacted my life, and the reason I speak out about mental illness and suicide.  Kind of a somber episode this week, fair warning.  Just unloaded my feelings and this is what came of it...didn't really write any of this, it all just came from the heart.  Edited out some of the incredibly awkward silences and here is this week's Mental Health Monday.  In memory of my Uncle, Rick.  

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Oh. It would've been different vibe this week for mental health Monday clambering for rigs now and one of three point seven kiss FM. Today is September the tenth when I'm posting this and actually kicks off. National suicide prevention week September is national suicide prevention month so this week for mental Monday. Instead of talking to somebody else instead of talking to a doctor. I thought I just talked to yield. And tell you the story about my local rec this is the reason why have made mental health my crusade. Why when he's my voice. To help prevent suicides. To speak openly about it speak openly about mental health. They regard to mental health Monday. Dedicated to my uncle ray. If you asked me a year and a half ago if I thought I would lose a family member to suicide. I would think you were crazy how would look at you like why it's now all everybody in my family is so happy. Everybody's fine. There's no issues. There were issues. That I had no idea about. My phone call rich. But he was the family clown. Any time we got together a family functions. While Michael rake and I. More than two guys they kept everybody happy if you know me. You know that I love making people laugh I love beaning goof ball I love being the center of attention sometimes I love taking people's minds off things. So any time we had a family event with my uncle Rick. We took this is an opportunity to be around him. He shared my love of impressions and goofy voices. And just the unit goof ball around the family. He used to call. Every single family member on their birthday he remembered birthdays and he would call and wish you happy birthday. In the voice of Donald Duck. But I had a spot. Donald Duck impress. She's gonna do I have drew wrinkle is ranked. What about what quarter out of legal. It was the data that will be calling the show this morning don't door cute aren't where you do well at the moment is the honestly and is running late again he forgot to Wear pants. The planet. Are. You. I love this guy calls. Donald. I. Do a fantastic yourself. And I said genetic cancer Christmas is your being aware and understand. And thank you very much for the call I appreciate it. Appreciate it time of the day and thank you don't want. War. A city that was my uncle Rick. Am on a show 1 morning glad I did any time to get DNA for any reason Thanksgiving Christmas fourth of July reunions. When I first questions was always. Is uncle Rick and indeed there. If he was we knew was a good time. And I had a really special relationship together. I don't know what it was but even though I never took a picture with the man would literally I've comb through my social media for the last year trying to find pictures I've gone through old family albums trying to find a picture. And just me in my local rink. And I don't have any than ever thought to take one because I never thought there was a problem. I never did ask he was always a happy guy. He was like Robin Williams maybe not and that talent level he wasn't in movies or anything but he was always a happy guy. Pete I never really knew what was going on in his life I knew that he was a banker and you had a great job being a great wife she's got three awesome kids. But I never really knew what he was doing because anytime I would try to ask him about his life. He would turn back around on me how's your job drew was gonna he was called me drew. Hate when people call me drill but for some reason when Rick called me drew I didn't mind it. Drew as the jungle and I was the wife. As a everything in Milwaukee. He always follow me around he was fascinated by in my career my radio career he would call me out of the blue just to talk that (%expletive) about music wreck was a big black crowes fan you know The Black Crowes are. He actually went to heist it was college or high school with the drummer of the black crows Steve Gorman. You probably don't know when but he is to talk about it all the time ability Steve Gorman who drummer for the Busch crew as we should go to shows some time. We never got to get to show I was won in two. The closest and most intimate that I really got for lack of better words with my Alka Rickles when he brought his daughter Chelsea up through Wisconsin she had an internship. At Kimberly-Clark which is up by a Madison I wanna say your find elect. But he was driving her up for her internship to drop her off and he decided to stop by and check out my house with my life. Always loved and pressing my uncle Rick he was always proud of his kids his kids are so Smart they're doing awesome but he was proud of me too. He's proud of the radio career that I kind of builds on my own how I went road out of high school and just jumped into it. Easily he was so proud of me and how far I'd come and life that I have and house that I have and he was happy for me. For some reason it just really made me feel warm on the inside that I had and pressed my local reckoning was proud of me. But anytime I can impress him or make him laugh. It always made me feel good. There was a time that we lost my cousin to muscular dystrophy and the whole family was sad it was a sad moment. Our cousin Nathan we knew that the end was coming he had a really hard struggle with muscular dystrophy and it was sad when he passed away. The ninety four's funeral my wife and I were staying in my uncle Tony's house. And uncle Rick for staying with us. My uncle Rick and I went out to the barn we sat down we started drinking Beers. Rick and I went through a case of beer each I don't think it really drink as many Beers as he did because I kept falling asleep and he would wake me up and I drew. That if things this case of beer we were trying to break a family record of 38 Beers in one night. Again I don't know why I wanted to impress my uncle Rick so bad. But I really wanted to break his family record he can't talk about I was like if I can do this local wrinkle thinks I'm awesome he will think I was so cool if I can drink all these years. If there are probably didn't but he told me I did we are a lot of conversations that night. I found out a lot about my uncle Rick nothing negative though. But I would never look at male correct and think back guys depressed like I might have some issues he okay. He's got to be fine he's doing Jimmy Stewart impressions he can do a spot on Ronald Reagan impression. They get is fine is cracking jokes no problems. He was just a funny guy but we sat up all night before the Nathan's funeral until like 6 in the morning my wife comes out she was like where have you and you can go to bad. In a funeral ago to today and I was like I was hanging out at mile correct all night it was amazing the last time I got to see my uncle Rick my grandparents 55 wedding anniversary party Velde Rasul Indiana. July 1 2017. It was an awesome party it was like a church service and the million down in the basement there's this big room my grandparents were there. All of their kids were there cousins were there we rented at this whole room we had food my dad put together an awesome video and pictures slide show like 16100 pictures of the whole family of my grandparents and they loved it. And this was the last time but the whole family got to hang out with their uncle wreck. Later that night after the anniversary party we are tied to the hotel. Where my mom my wife Mike and Julie. My sister holly and uncle Rick we all sat down in the lobby of the hotel and were drinking the other hanging out. Talking about life and joking around like we always do not taking that anything is wrong with my local rink he's just the crazy guy Sherri is a little bit drunk. We always have some drinks were family were safer in a hotel. It was even 2 o'clock in the morning and I got hungry I wanted to go to Taco Bell. But I wasn't gonna drive the last mantle Rick if you would walk across the street to the Taco Bell with me. I remember walking up to the drive through and begging him to serve me at the drive Theo and they were insistent we can't surf via feed on a car I was like you already got to get my car and driver aired drunks. Aaron are looking over at my local rink laughing hysterically. Remember I loved one I demand my uncle Rick laughed it may be happy too impressive to make him laugh. I was enamored of them I don't know why I just love to impress them so much. And I took some snap chance that night and snapped shut everything goes away after 24 hours and never save my snapped chats but for some reason. That night I took a couple of goofy snapped jets with my uncle Rick they sounded like this. Wrecked here. How many Beers we kill one night. Could it be like save those snaps. Mosul the last visible memories I have with my uncle wreck everything else is just in my mind. The next day we woke up and had breakfast. We upside down and Bob Evans that's from a family loves to go as Bob Evans. But I was sitting down and my uncle Rick wasn't there and thought it was not the. Maybe we even knew we were out drinking pretty late. Maybe he went somewhere else maybe he's still sleeping I don't know the week came in I can tell that something was wrong with him something was just off. Any walked outside with my grandfather or my other uncle. And they were all seem to be arguing outside the restaurant and then Rick got into a truck with my uncle and they drove often they left. And no idea where they went. And that was the last time that I saw my uncle Rick. Fast forward. July of last year 20173. O'clock in the morning 3:15 in the morning. Getting ready to go to work just like a normal day the looked down as a text message from my mom. Says calming as soon as you possibly can. Call my mom. He's sitting down she said. Nervously answered yes and I knew I can hear inner voice that something had gone wrong. My mind starts racing. What what happened. She said they found your uncle wreck. Is and what you mean. The city was at his Condo in Florida. And they found them. They think you might have done something to himself. I was shocked. Who do you muscles chills right now thinking about it going back to that. I went to work. At all no why. I went to work maybe was to kind of cope AB was to put it out of my mind I'm not sure what it was the reason for going to work. Membrane showed up and talking d'alene givens. Like you'll came in I was like just got a phone call from my mom and my uncle Rick died. I got way. Happened. He don't know. But they said they found him and it sounds like he did something to himself how could he possibly take his own life. And local rec. Happy fun guy the jokes stare. The guy that would call me on my birthday and pretend he was Donald Duck. Was he that sad behind this show that he was putting on of happy fun guy was there in darkness and sadness behind all of this laughter. Was this a show that he was just putting on for all these years. I never knew. And I never got a chance to ask him. In it pains me so hard. But this is what happens with suicides. You can't rationalize it he just can't. Someone dies in a car accident is horrific but you can somewhat justify it. It was an accident somebody else was driving somebody was distracted. Maybe there was alcohol involved. Somebody dies of heart attack you can Trace it back to the family genes is there a history of heart disease. Someone dies of cancer. Awful I've lost family members to cancer I've lost friends to cancer. Though that's a kind of death you can see coming it's still sad but at least you can rationalize it to an extent. You can't do that was a suicide. There's no answers. There's just questions upon questions upon questions. I don't think it's fair to classify grief everybody grieves differently and everybody's allowed to feel sad for things. But there's something about losing someone to suicide. It's completely different. It changes things. It changes your outlook on life the way you look at people the way people act. It changes your family the way your family talks to one another people start blaming one another. People get angry. People don't know how to deal with the grief. People don't know who to blame so they start blaming one another it's really sad. I miss my uncle Rick Imus and so much. The only thing that I can do. Is a carry on his memory in my mind and in my heart and B make sure that I reached out to people if I think there's something wrong. And now I reach out to people if I think there isn't anything wrong it's always OK to ask someone how they're doing. Sometimes only half an awkward silence with somebody. Is the best time to say. And you are right everything all right Tony even gone through some stuff is everything okay in on here for yeah. Sometimes I can be the greatest thing you can do for somebody who never had to talk to my uncle got its problems it was always just happy he was always upbeat I never knew there was a problem. And I can't beat myself up about that I didn't old talking afterwards to my mom and my hands and my other uncle. They knew a little bit they knew that he was struggling with some problems they knew that he was upset. But no one quit ever imagined he would ever do something like that. But my uncle was in that category of fifty year old man that buried their feelings he comes from that school of thought of suck it up. You're going to be fine he can deal with that on your own in a depressed he just a little upset. Deal with it. This is why mental health is my crusade now this when mental health is my mission is many senses they can talk about and as many opportunities as I can talk about them when he sees the opportunity. Amid a seize the opportunity to ask people if they're okay on the to seize the opportunity. It's a break this stigma around mental health. How many seize the opportunity. To break the stigma around suicide. And let people and families know that you don't have to be ashamed of a suicide in the family yes it's sad. It's terrible it's awful it's gut wrenching it's any other. Negative word I can think of right now but I don't have a thesaurus. It's Sox. Suicide. Sox. He asked me today if I've lost someone to suicide. And I'll tell you yes I have my uncle. Rick. Not a data goes man and I don't think about that tank. That's it but telecast for this week pour my heart and a little bit. And other mental health Monday. A rigs off the radio podcast. If you feel like you need help. 1802738255. The national suicide prevention lifeline. Reach out but ask a friend if they need help ask a friend of their okay. Those three words can go a long way it was somebody are you okay. Thanks for listening to another mental health Monday I'm rigs. Make your life decisions.