9 things with rabbit ears that shouldn't have rabbit ears...

Can we stop doing this, please?

April 17, 2019

I'm a dog. Not a rabbit.

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Easter is this weekend, in case you haven't noticed with all the marketing hype.  If you haven't already, time to get your pic with the Easter Bunny.  Just like me, in 1984...

I was screaming on the inside. Screaming in TERROR.

Have you ever noticed how anytime you see an Easter Bunny in public, or one at the mall, or a special event, they all look CREEPY AF???

Tell me I'm wrong.  I don't think I've ever seen a NON creepy Easter Bunny costume.  

Feelin kinda creepy.....might steal your Easter Candy. idk.

See?  Creepy.  More proof?

Stop! Stop!

What is he doing with his 'bunny' hands?  See?  Creepy.  All of em.  

Even the Easter Bunny we have where I skydive in East Troy at Skydive Milwaukee, while he looks like a badass jumping from a plane...

PHOTO: Seth Kuttruff

STILL CREEPY!!   

I think society started to catch on to the fact that it is almost impossible to make a NON creepy / scary Easter Bunny costume.  So we started doing the next best thing...

Making NON bunny things, BUNNIES.  

One person said "Let's put rabbit ears on everything, that'll be cute, won't it?!"

"I'm embarrassed for these pictures...can't a rabbit just be a RABBIT?!"

I know buddy, I don't understand humans either.  So here are 9 things that are NOT the Easter Bunny pretending to BE the Easter Bunny...or just a Rabbit in general....and they should stop immediately.  

1.  This baby.

  

Cute baby. Not a bunny. Stop.

Your baby is cute enough on its own.  Stop puttng bunny ears on babies.  Please. 

 

2.  This poor cat. 

"I hate you, human."

Come on, people.  This is a CAT.  If you wanted a rabbit, you should have bought a rabbit.  Leave your poor cat alone.  I don't even LIKE cats and I feel bad for this dude. 

 

3.  This Dog. 

So Doge! Wow Bunny! So Easter! Much Disappoint!
 

He looks so uncomfortable.  Right?  Stop dressing up your pets.  Even for the gram.  Just let your dog be a dog.  

4.  This guy.  

Sir, you're causing a scene. Please stop.

Go home, you are drunk.  This looks like it could be Gibbons, btw...hmmm....  Humans.  Leave the rabbiting to the rabbits, please. 

5.  These women. 

Even if you're trying to be sexy...

 

New bunny suit, who dis?

Sexy? Nah. Rabbits aren't sexy. Just be a human being, K? thx.

Stop. Just stop. The teeth? No. Really?

Just don't.  No self respecting woman should slap on a pair of bunny ears - especially if she thinks her "man will like it".  He won't . He might say he does, but deep down - he will be secretly planning to take them off of you as fast as possible...and not in a "let's get it on kind of way".  More like a "Please, just don't" kind of way.  It's just....weird.  

 

6.  The President of the United States. 

 

© Sipa USA .

No, Mr. President.  You cannot get in the bunny suit.  Just stop asking.  Please get back to work.  

 

7.  The Elf on a Shelf 

Go away Elf On A Shelf. It's not even May yet. Settle down.

You already have your own BOOK, your own MOVIE, and your own MONTH of the freaking year leading up to Santa.  Step off, Elf on the Shelf.  Go back to the north pole and leave the rabbiting to rabbits. 

 

8.  These Guys

WTF IS GOING ON IN THIS PICTURE!???!!

Is that an Easter Bunny and a Pumpkin consoling a Mall Santa?  Is the Mall Santa drinking?  Why are they all together?  What exactly is the guy on the far right supposed to be?  Is this some sort of imagery?  Symbolism? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS PICTURE!!!  If it was just three normal dudes on a concrete step, I'd let it slide...but WHATISGONGON!???

 

9.  This "Rabbit"

© Xinhua
  

And we come full circle to HUMANS in BUNNY costumes.  We get it, everyone wants to be the Easter Bunny. 

Just let the REAL Rabbits be rabbits.  I don't see RABBITS trying to be something they are not.  Dial back the bunny costumes.  They aren't cute, they aren't funny, they're just....creepy...and weird...

Leave it to the REAL Rabbits...

Don't shrug your shoulders. Put away the ears and finish the candy, kid.

NO!  The REAL RABBITS: 

"Unbelievable. I'm speechless at the silliness."

Thank you.  

See?  Real Rabbit = ADORABLE.  Imposter Rabbit = Ridiculous. 

Happy Easter!

Talk to you in the morning, 

xoxo

Riggs

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